I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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