im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
