Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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