I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
