So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
