i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Are my feet made of real feet?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
