You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
