im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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