this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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