I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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