Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
