I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
