Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
