i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
