there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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