I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
