My nipple is on Facebook.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
