She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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