she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize
