Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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