He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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