He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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