the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
