My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
