Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you never un-have a 4some
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
