awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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