she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
