what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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