I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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