a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
