IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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