How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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