honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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