Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
