it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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