I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
