TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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