I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize