I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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