I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
