True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
