Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
