i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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