I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
