When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize