You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
