i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
