Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
