Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
