How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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