i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
