My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
