so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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