Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
