it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
