Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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