Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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