Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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