How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
