the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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